People who are naturally nice have a tendency to help others, share with friends, and be generally thoughtful. This kind of kindness is often called “prosocial” behavior, which means it’s a way to promote the well-being and safety of others. It also increases feelings of social connectedness.
Prosocial people are more likely to be viewed as trustworthy and dependable. They’re a joy to be around and are usually easy to get along with. But there are times when niceness can go awry and be a negative influence on your life.
It’s easy to confuse niceness with narcissism, which is defined as an unhealthy egocentric attitude that affects your self-esteem and relationships. Narcissism can take many forms, but it’s most commonly seen as selfishness paired with arrogance and lack of empathy. While some people are natural narcissists, others struggle to overcome their need for attention and approval. If you’re a struggling narcissist, try to be more mindful of the impact your actions are having on those around you.
A toxic form of niceness is letting everyone walk all over you. You may have a genuine desire to be kind and respectful, but you’re giving in to the demands of others so much that you’re not expressing your own needs. This will eventually lead to resentment and a feeling of being taken advantage of. It’s important to learn how to set healthy boundaries with those you care about and express your own needs in a direct and respectful way.
Another problem with being too nice is that it can actually make you less effective at work and in your personal life. For example, if you’re constantly giving in to requests from coworkers and family members, it can be difficult for you to focus on your own work and feel a sense of accomplishment. This can lead to you getting caught up in small tasks and putting off more important tasks, which can ultimately have a negative effect on your career.
Being a “nice” person can also prevent you from speaking up when someone crosses your boundaries or hurts you. You might avoid saying anything to them out of fear of being perceived as a mean person, but it’s more important to address the issue right away. This can prevent you from falling into a pattern of toxic relationships where both parties end up being hurt in the long run.
Being a nice person can have positive effects on your mood and overall happiness, but it’s important to strike a balance with other aspects of your personality. If you’re unsure of how to balance your niceness with other traits, ask for feedback from a trusted friend or family member. Usually, they’ll have some great suggestions for improvements. Just be sure to listen to their advice and not be defensive or upset if they criticize your niceness. After all, their opinion is valid and they’re trying to help you be your best. You can use this feedback to make changes that are more aligned with your true values.