Nice (also niçoise) is an adjective that means “friendly, ingratiating, or conciliatory.” It’s also used as a noun to describe someone who’s polite and courteous. While some people are nice for superficial reasons, others genuinely want to be kind and thoughtful. Being nice is a way to make people feel good, which is why so many people strive to incorporate it into their everyday lives.

But niceness can be a slippery slope. People who overextend their niceness can end up making people feel uncomfortable or even resentful of them. That’s why it’s important to recognize when you’re being too nice and to learn how to revert to your natural instincts.

People who are truly nice don’t fake it. They sincerely believe that they possess excellent traits and want to treat other people how they deserve to be treated. They’re not only good to other people but they’re also good to themselves.

Authentic nice people are patient. They understand that everyone has their own pace and they try to respect that. They’re also generous with their time and energy, and they never forget to say ‘thank you’ or use their manners. They’re also empathetic, which means they can sense how other people are feeling and they respond accordingly.

They’re a good listener. They ask open-ended questions and they take the time to listen to other people. Whether they’re giving advice or just listening to them vent, a true nice person will always have their listener’s best interests at heart.

Psychologists define personality as a combination of five broad dimensions. One of those dimensions is agreeableness, which includes several characteristics associated with niceness, such as being compassionate and empathetic. Being nice is also a form of prosocial behavior, which is a term that psychologists use to describe actions that promote the well-being and safety of other people.

Research has shown that expressing kindness, even when it’s as simple as holding the door for a stranger or helping someone carry a heavy box, triggers the release of two hormones—serotonin and oxytocin. These chemicals help minimize stress and boost mood stability. Moreover, they can also increase self-esteem and social connectivity. In fact, a 2019 study found that people rate kindness as the most desirable trait in a partner, ahead of physical attractiveness, a good sense of humor, and financial stability.